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Archive for January 2011

25 Jan, 2011

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I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up

What I believe is the achilles heel of any person who wants to achieve success in any area of their life is: accountability.

I’m not sure that accountability, on the surface level, really works. Here’s the usual breakdown.
You have a problem. You want to get better. And so you tell a friend to “keep you accountable.” The conversation usually goes better with someone who you’d call your “accountability partner”, who you can work through your problems with rather than reporting to someone about your shortcomings.

But then what? Who’s responsibility is it to keep communication going on about the issue? The person who wants to get over it the most? I think our obstacle with accountability is if we don’t follow through on what we’ve set out for ourselves to get better, we’ll only get a “slap on the wrist” from the person keeping us accountable.

It’s as if we repeat this cycle of “needing to get better.” At the beginning of every year we say we want to work out more, read the Bible and pray more, and eat better. EVERY YEAR. Around July do we just stop caring? I have had so many friends ask me to keep them accountable and it’s as if they’ve fallen and can’t get up. The same obstacles keep them down. So many people want to get out of something they struggle with, but are looking for someone to come snatch them out. Maybe that’s possible. But I don’t have any sort of confidence in that method.

If you have something in your secret life that you can’t shake, accountability will help you, but it won’t set you free. Somewhere along the line, we’ve heard someone talk about how bad our secret is, therefore we conclude that we HAVE to get over it before people find out. If you want to overcome it, you’ve got to move from HAVE to… to WANT to. Some would say your issue is habitual. I’d say you have a desire issue. What do WANT more than anything else?

The things you love and desire the most, you feed. If you want to work out more, watch tv shows about people who work out, hang out with people… who work out… start up conversations with people you barely know… about working out. You’ve got to want to change. WANT to change + authentic accountability = a chance at changing. We already have a list of things we feel we have to do. May the thing we struggle with the most, not be added to that list.

If you feel like you’re falling, and you’ve got no desire to stop, and no accountability, there’s no capes allowed here. I’ve got a list of 23 accountability questions I’ve developed for myself that I’ve given to friends to ask me periodically. If you want that list, shoot me an email or facebook message and I’d love to help you be in a better position to be held accountable.

18 Jan, 2011

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And The Crowd Goes Wild

Sick. Awesome. Killed it. Amazing. I have no idea how he came up with that. The bomb. Genius. Tore it up. Born to do that. Off the hook. And what I believe is the most coveted phrase people who present, sing, write or speak want to hear is, “He hit it out the park.”

Impressing somebody who’s never heard or seen you do what you do before isn’t very difficult. The expectations are null and void, for they have no bar or scale to measure you from. So when you’re new or a special guest, there’s somewhat of a blank slate with your audience. And once you get off the stage, you hope that you… hit it out the park.

But what about the people who’ve heard you speak, read your blogs, seen your videos, and worshiped with you plenty of times? Once you’ve tasted a crowd going wild for a God-given gift on the inside of you, it can become addicting. It can drive you to the point where you feel like you gotta hit it out the park every time you grab the mic, post a blog, or sing your song. The oohs and aahs lead others to believe you’re a homerun hitter. If you’re really spiritual, you’re taught to say, “It’s all God. It’s about Him.” What’s sad is that statement has become more of the right thing to say to look humble than an accurate description of how we actually feel.

You can say what you need to say to look however you want to look, but eventually the pressure of hitting it out of the park sets in. When we hear people compliment something we’ve done well, we want to exceed their expectations for the encore, living our lives trying to one up… ourselves.

There’s times when the crowd will indeed, go wild. And there are times where we will absolutely strike out. But for your heart and for mine, I think we’ve got to break up with crowd responses. That crowd for you could be a group of friends, blog readers, or an auditorium full of people hanging on your every word, but regardless of the size, a break up is a must. The same people who gave Jesus oohs and aahs were the same people who yelled “Crucify Him.”

Whatever your gift is, I hope you kill it. Tear it up. Hit it out the park. I just hope your crowd going wild… or not doesn’t determine whether or not you succeeded or failed at doing so. No capes allowed.

10 Jan, 2011

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Look Who’s Talkin

Inevitably there are two sides to every story. Some say there’s three: “Your side. My side. And the truth of what really happen.” Something I thoroughly enjoy is when I have two friends arguing about ANYTHING, especially when it involves marriage or a dating relationship. I have yet to hear two sides of a story that actually matched up.

First of all, if a guy is telling the story of “what had happen was…”, his version has a 10 minute max. And being a guy myself, I’m not sure that, in our eyes, it’s ever our fault. Now if you listen to a woman’s translation of “what he did”, you’re gonna get that amplified Bible version of every detail that you’ll need to block off an afternoon to hear. And at this point, fellas, it’s definitely our fault.

This tension cracks me up. And it never gets old to me. But being courtside to some of these sagas, you don’t have to be a counselor to see these two are on different pages. Maybe even different books. They view their relationship, their bond, and their commonality completely different than the other.

Have you ever been sitting with someone with a broken heart, and after their done pouring out how bad things are, they begin to tell you why things are going to be ok so you “don’t worry” about them? Have you ever talked to someone who talked to themselves long before they could get help, so much that they had talked themselves into believing something that would help them FEEL better instead of GETTING better? It was if they had played doctor on themselves long before you could ever be a friend.

I read all of the above and point the finger right back at myself. I’ve been there. I’m there right now. I’m in love with the God of the universe, and I feel like there’s two sides to our story. I get the feeling He sees things completely different than I do. And that’s good news for me. It’s good news for you too. I’m glad one of us has the big picture in mind. And when we weren’t on the same page with Him, he sent his Son. So we’re cool now. But I’m challenging my own life with a couple questions:

1.) What are you telling yourself to make yourself feel better about what you do, who you are, and where you’re going?

2.) What are you telling other people to make yourself look better about what you do, who you are, and where you’re going?

It’s ok not to be ok. But it’s not ok, to not be ok, and lie about it. No capes allowed.

04 Jan, 2011

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COMMENTS:2

Left Behind

hindsight [hahynd-sahyt]: the ability to understand, after something has happened, what should have been done or what caused the event.

Over the 24-year course of my life, I’ve had the opportunity to sit down with successful leaders in business, academics, government, and church. And the number one common denominator I’ve seen in talking with these leaders from different fields is that they all squeeze in one phrase into the conversation: “Ryan… looking back at my journey, it makes sense that…”

Hindsight’s 20/20, right? It’s relieving to hear the above statement from successful leaders because it lets me know that somewhere along the journey, THEY HAD NO CLUE WHAT THEY WERE DOING. It’s only in their hindsight did they realize ______ was for a reason. And because they went through ______ for a season, they’re able to be the successful leader they are today.

When I look back merely 5 years, I laugh at what I thought was a big deal. I have to wonder what I will find humorous 5 years from now. Whatever it was that I couldn’t understand 5 years ago, seems to be left behind. And the picture of my life, in hindsight, continues to make more and more sense everyday.

Wherever you are on your journey, things may not make sense now, but I don’t think they’re suppose to.

hindsight's 20/20